Don't Look Back in Anger

Hindsight is 20/20! If you've ever been in a situation where your dog has acted in an aggressive, frightening, fearful, or careless way you know EXACTLY that. This photo makes me shutter as I look at it: this was Ramses first night at the house after we adopted him! At this point in time I had no structure in my dog's lives, no boundaries, and obviously no collars. Well 3 days later those collars would have come in handy when they got into a nasty dogfight and I didn't have anything to grab besides scruff! In hindsight I would have had collars on, STRUCTURE, and not just ONE dog bed in the living room (for them to compete over?! What was I thinking?). BUT at the time, that is not what I was thinking about. And I learned the hard way about safety, but I DID learn.

Hindsight moments, no matter how upsetting, are learning opportunities for us. They are moments we can look back and say--WHY did this happen? Why did my dog run off and not come back when I've taken him outside without a leash many times before? Why did the dogs get into a fight in the kitchen when they never had an issues in the back yard? Why did my dog snap at or bite my grandchild? Why did my dog hide under the bed and get defensive when I tried to take him out when the whole family was in town?

It's important that we can take a step back and learn from our mistakes. Because, to be fair, they are animals (as we are) and we all make mistakes. Usually when safety is involved, it is human error that lends itself to injury (dog bite or fight) or loss (like letting your dog outside without a leash when he does not have a solid recall). 

If you find yourself looking back at an event that happened, ask yourself some of these questions!

What was going on when it happened?
What do you think triggered the incident?
What can I do to prevent this next time?
Has this happened before?
How many times am I going to allow this to happen before I ask for help?
How could this have been worse?
Have I learned something?
What will I change about things now, so that I can be more aware in the future?
How can I turn this into a learning opportunity?

The most important thing about learning from your mistakes is MAKING a plan, a change, and actively turning it into a platform for action. I am guilty of getting hung up on something, and doubting myself (ESPECIALLY when it comes to dogs! I mean jeez, I'm a dog trainer! I should have things perfect, right?!)--allowing my response to the incident to take me down instead of turning it into an opportunity to build things back up. I've done it--I've cried about things, laid there feeling helpless and hopeless, and felt like the world was ending because of a "failure". Self pity is so so easy to do--making change is the hard part! Please, please, don't dissect mistakes and waste your energy only looking back--you must turn it into an opportunity to move forward and make next time better. You've got to rebuild better and stronger! Making mistakes and lingering on them (pouting, being depressed, being discouraged, filling yourself with self doubt) without turning your emotion into action keeps you in a negative state of mind and keeps you DOWN. Nothing productive can come from that! Life involves ups and downs, mistakes and mishaps--but after every dark night the sun rises the next morning! You have an opportunity for change--but YOU have to make it happen :)  Your dogs, your friends, your family, and YOURSELF need you too! Dogs live in the moment, and from them we should take a hint!

Remembering where you came from and enjoying where you're going!

Yesterday was a pretty special day! Years ago, within a week of adopting my second dog, they started fighting. My world was upside, I was so shaken, and so discouraged because it wasn't just one fight--it was many many fights that required medical care for both dogs and humans breaking it up! Then, like many dog owners, I turned on the TV and watched a show that helped me make sense of it all. The Dog Whisperer became a daily routine for me to watch and apply, as I took detailed notes and studied everything! I changed the way I behaved and lived with my dogs everyday to be the Packleader my pack needed. Quickly a new passion developed as I saw changes in my dogs, and I wanted to help others.

Since those years ago I have met many amazing dog trainers and rehabilitators who have inspired me, taught me, and continue to do great things and offer the knowledge to others! These are some of the most talented people I've ever met and owe a lot of ny current success and knowledge to, and it could all be non-existant if my boyfriend and I had not turned on Nat Geo one morning and found a glimmer of hope for our pack. It's hard to believe how far I've come from watching TV shows, to meeting and working with some of the best in the country! It was very nice last night, to shake hands and talk to someone who had no idea who I was, but played such a big part in starting this journey and keeping my pack together! I'm also very glad I got to share that moment with my friend and groomer Autumn, who's story is very similar to mine and Rick Denning who invited us out! 

It's important that we always remember where we came from and celebrate those moments--but never stop growing! You owe it to the world, and yourself, to keep becoming the best you can!

Warning Signs

Dogs with problem behaviors didn't come into this world like that. They developed whatever undesirable qualities because pushy, bratty, obnoxious, and disrespectful behavior was not properly addressed and interrupted when the symptoms were in their infant stages. We all have to start at 5mph long before we're flying down the highway at 70mph.

Dogs who charge and bite people at the door didn't "just" start doing that. They were allowed to bark, get way too worked up, and run back and forth to the door (as pups or newly adopted dogs) many times before the first bite. They were allowed to jump up on people at will, or push their way into your lap while you sit on the couch, scratch your leg or bark at you for attention--never learning to appreciate or respect the personal space bubble of humans. They are probably lacking structure and leadership in their life--enjoying a lot of unearned freedom and affection in the house. It is so important to understant that we can't simply look at the bite and say, "oh man, we've got a problem." We MUST see the pushy and obnoxious behavior that was going on long before that and say "THAT'S a problem!"

Leash reactivity/aggression isn't an overnight event. It's the result of many walks (prior to the reactivity problem) that were totally controlled by the dog in a bad state of mind-- going nuts when the leash is brought out, pulling you out the door, dragging you down the sidewalk, allowing the dog to zig zag back and forth marking every mailbox, sniffing every blade of grass, and getting excited by every person, car, bike, or dog they see. It doesn't start out as explosive, scary, leash behavior--but it turns into that because the pushy, non-polite, and controlling behavior of the many walks you took before was never addressed.

Next time your dog does something, think to yourself--does this seem like a problem? Is this a little pushy? Is this behavior getting worse or more dramatic each time we do something?

If you can nip a problem in the bud in its infant stages, you can really save yourself some trouble down the road when you have a serious problem in need of behavior modification. Remember, it's much easier to put out a match than a bonfire!

A dog is a dog, no matter the size!

Polite behavior and obedience training seems to be a largely "big dog" dominated activity. It is very easy to simply scoop up a little dog that is barking at people, not care( because he doesn't weigh much) that he's jumping on people, not be too concerned about growling and snapping because their mouths are too small, and even not mind picking up little dried-up poops in the house because they "arn't really that messy."

No matter the size, all dogs are looking for leadership and guidance. Problem behaviors are a cry for help, no matter if your dog weighs 5lbs or 105lbs. A growling Chihuahua may as well be a growling German Shepherd--they are both dogs and deserve to be treated as such. Ignoring little dog bad behavior is more than a dog having a "Napoleon Complex"--it's a red flag to the needs of the "dog" inside that little dog not being met.

I love this picture because 3 little dogs are rocking it! Chi Chi and Jackson are waiting at the open front door in down/stays for me to say "let's go!" and walk. My boy Leo (a previously to-be-euthanized-for-biting little dog, who spent more time in his old life being spoiled like a baby than being treated like a dog) working it out on the treadmill leash-free!

Little dogs are still dogs, and may surprise you how much they are looking for leadership! 

Don't loose it!

Bonjour! Je m'appelle Victoria! 

Hello! My name is Victoria and THAT (above) is about all I remember from 2 semesters of French in high school! Back in those days I could write essays, have small conversations, and even read books in French with ease!

Ask me to say something in French now and I'll introduce myself and maybe name some fruits--but that is about the extent of the conversation we will have! In high school I could have gone to Paris and gotten from point A to point B with ease--including asking questions, ordering food, and chatting up the locals. Ask me to go now, and I'll be saying "Bonjour! English?" while moving my hand like a little duck mouth.

Why am I posting this on my dog training page? Because the same principle applies to dog training. I spoke French everyday for 2 semesters and was a real Mademoiselle! However I graduated and never again challenged myself to keep up with the daily exercises we did in school. Quickly I lost all of the skills I had worked so hard for to conjugate verbs, count to 20, or even ask someone's name! Now, instead of holding my own in a real world French environment, I would struggle to do one thing correctly. How do you say FAIL in French? Don't ask me! 

So (if you can see where I am going with this)! Your dog's training is NOT over after it comes home from a board and train or you finish the last session of your private lessons. Your "training" is only beginning! Your dog needs you to practice your leadership and his training skills everyday, so that he can continue to be successful and improve in the real world. I could be giving lectures in French if I'd have kept up with it!

If you only said "sit" to your dog twice a week, do you think he would ever learn the command? So why only practice place command once a week, when guests come over on Saturday night? That type of "it's time to train" pattern means your dog is going to struggle (and you're likely to get frustrated) all because you guys haven't been having "real training conversation" daily. It's one thing to tell your dog "place" once a day when you're making his food and then release him to eat; It's another thing to have your dog in a place command while you do chores and then recall him across the room to a down/stay while you carry groceries in and out of the front door. 

Try taking your dog on a walk once a week, and see if your leash manners improve  Instead take your dog on a daily walk and challenge him to hold a down/stay while other walkers and their dogs go by, or to heel without distraction in a busy grocery store parking lot.

Keep challenging your dog and keep practicing your stuff. Don't sweep obedience under the rug for only the days when you need major control of your dog--because they will struggle and so will you. Have your dog do some structured obedience work and calm on command behavior everyday. EVERYDAY. You've invested in it this far, don't let it go! Keep the language fresh, so your dog can carry his own in real time!

Please don't take your dog to Paris only knowing how to say "croissant!"

Spend the time to socialize!

Up until they are 8 weeks old, your dog is surrounded by other puppies and their mother--spending his days playing and learning with his littermates.  Then they we sold or adopted out, and they leave their social circle and are bought into a life that is totally different than litter life before this!

So often puppies are brought  into a zero dog household to be a friend for the kids or simply a companion for their owner--which is wonderful! Sometimes, it's even a household who has a cat and wants to add a dog to complete the circuit (you know I love kitties, so I love that type of family!)  Or maybe it's a household with a small dog, where they want to bring in a bigger dog to have a variety! Whatever the case may be, it is important that your dog socialize with others outside of your household.

A cat can be a fun friend for a dog, but it has different body language and social signals. Kids are great buddies for a dog, but have sensitive skin that will be bruised and scratched with rough play. Little dogs are definitely an important part of life to be exposed to, but a Great Dane can't play the same way with a Chihuahua that it would with with another larger dog.

Dogs are social creatures, and as much as we strive to be the best leaders and teachers for our dogs as we can, ultimately other dogs are truly the best teachers out there. If we keep socializing our young dogs with other well behaved, balanced dogs of all ages, they will grow up to continue to be well socialized adult dogs! That means they can read body language, greet other dogs appropriately, and know how to communicate through subtle signals with each other.

I encourage you to spend the extra money on doggie daycare a couple times a week, meet with your friend's well behaved dogs, or just get out and walk your dog in a busy neighborhood--and do it often. We do no favors keeping them cooped up behind our doors, or trapped to the patch of grass known as our back yard. Keep life exciting and keep it social--your dog will love it and through his blossoming social behavior, thank you for it :)

The Inside Scoop

I want you to know that I love and am so grateful that you are reading my blog.  Each post comes from my heart, and is full of the passion I have to see people and their dogs succeed.  I hope that it inspires, empowers you, and can give you some help on your journey.

I want to let you in on my new project, that is all fun for me, and aims to provide entertainment and (hopefully) educational insights into dog training.  If you follow Take the Lead on Facebook you already know that in addition to having 4 personal dogs, I also have a cat.  If you didn't know that, let me introduce you!

Meet Cenicero--my dog training cat!

#dogtrainingcat

www.dogtrainingcat.com

This blog will give you an inside scoop to the workings of a Take the Lead board and train from his "kitty point of view."  It's been fun putting it together, and I hope you enjoy it!  Believe it or not, he really is a very important part of my training process!  :)  If you want, keep an eye on his blog--it's pretty active, as he has a lot to say! :)  

Thanks again, my friends! 

The Discipline of Dog Raising

Many of my clients are familiar with Cesar Millan (The Dog Whisperer) and the "fulfillment formula" for a balanced dog: Exercise, Discipline, and Affection!  I think it is so fantastic that they've been working on this!  They talk about how much exercise they give their dogs or admit that they may not be giving enough and that "that's the problem."  I love their honesty, but more than that I LOVE that they are trying to follow the fulfillment formula in the first place--because it truly is an excellent equation to having a dog whose needs are truly met.  They are trying to put it into practice, but many are still struggling with their dog--which can be frustrating when you are trying step by step to follow "by the book."

So I want to discuss the 3 parts to this equation a little bit.

Exercise: Of course!  Wolves naturally migrate miles daily, so it's only natural that our dogs would need that instinctual need met through exercise.  It's true that a dog with pent up energy that is not getting adequate exercise, will release that energy through bad behaviors.  There is no question that a tired dog is a happy dog!  I find that the type of exercise you share with your dog is also important in affecting your dogs state of mind, and ultimately fulfilling "balance."  Letting them chase squirrels around the yard, wrestle all day with another dog, swim, and play fetch are all excellent forms of energy burn, however do not have the same effect and importance as the structured walk.  The walk is an opportunity for you to practice 2 parts of the fulfillment formula at one time (exercise and discipline) which make it a very powerful relationship exercise.  All of those fast paced and exciting exercises have their place, but should not be a substitute for the exercise of a structured walk.

Discipline: Yep!  Many of my clients who follow this formula absolutely understand the importance of discipline and telling their dog if they are right or wrong.  They have no problem addressing a behavior and telling their dog that it is unacceptable.  That said, I find "discipline" is the most misrepresented part of the equation in many households.  Not because clients arn't trying to correct their dog, but because that is ALL they are doing.  They are putting out fires behind their dog and communicating that what its done is wrong.  Correcting a dog is not what discipline is all about (it's an important part, but there is so much more!)

The martial arts are called a "discipline" for a reason.  It is not because of the combat-- which is the most memorable part for most people, but because of the dedication it takes from an individual to practice it.  Martial arts are about concentration, control, practice, strategy, rules, boundaries, respect, and dedication.  Ask anyone who practices martial arts and they will tell you it is not about knee-jerk reactions in a fight--it is about the discipline that lead up to their first strategic choice.

THAT is what is meant by discipline when it comes to our dogs.  Being proactive and creating opportunities for our dog to practice control, following, boundaries, and respect.  When you are putting those things in place daily, you are taking the first initiative to guide your dog during times that he would make bad choices.  YOU are also practicing a new discipline of teaching and guiding your dog with daily structure and boundaries.  We're not waiting for our dog to make a mistake or bad choice to "apply" discipline through a correction.  We are now actively looking for ways to strengthen our bond and prepare our dog to behave in a more controlled and focus manner throughout life, through the daily practice of discipline.

Affection:  Our favorite!  Affection is the one part of the formula that never gets left out.  It is important, no doubt!  We LOVE to share affection with out dogs--it feels good and makes us happy (and is the easiest for people to do)!  Affection is also the LAST part of the formula, because it should be the LAST part given.  It doesn't mean it's not important, but our dogs need us to provide them with important dog-life skills (exercise and discipline) before we share our human-emotion-based stuff with them (affection).  Use your affection as a reward for a great state of mind and calm energy...that's how it is truly meant to fit into the formula (not just as permission to give a ton of treats and hugs because you are back from a walk!)

Make sure to take look at your formula and see how much affection you are giving compared to the other 2 practices.  These are supposed to be three equal parts:  how does yours look? Now that you see the real definition of discipline, is it the same percentage that you thought it was? Are they all still equal?

If you're getting some untoward behavior from your dog, feel like your dog is not listening to you, and that you do not have control or influence when it comes to your dog in certain situations...revisit the formula.  Work on your discipline--it's not just you, we all need to!  That's why it's called a discipline---it involves practice, dedication, and control!  We have to learn how to become a master :)