Take a moment today to step back and think about how your dog views you. Are you stressed out, frustrated, or anxious? Think about your dog, who looks to you for guidance--the person that is supposed to set the tone for them is all twisted inside. How would that make you feel? Wouldn't you also feel anxious or stressed if your leader looked like they arn't handling life well?
We are always saying something to our dogs, if we realize it or not. They are looking for a leader who is predictable and confident to give them some guidance. Take some time to think about how you feel today, and think "would I want to follow or trust someone like me?"
Our dogs read us better than any person can-- and they only follow a confident leader. If you can't represent that for them, then they take their anxiousness and say "well, someone's got to do it!" and take on the pressure and burden of trying to be the leader for their pack. Most dogs prefer to be a follower, and may make some bad choices and develop neurotic behaviors from the pressure of being the leader. If their humans haven't successfully shown them that it's all under control, they will by default assume that role (even if they arn't very good at it).
Think about who is in control in your relationship and ask yourself if "you'd follow you?"